I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i out mim tonsoeep
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