doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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