I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
