I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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