I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
