You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
