guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
