Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
