he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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