and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize