U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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