I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
