so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
