Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
