I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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