All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
