seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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