She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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