i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
