I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
it hurts more in the daytime
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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