he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
