Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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