Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
