You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
