Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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