I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize