I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
