Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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