There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize