I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
