just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He? As in you personified your dick?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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