Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
