my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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