He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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