he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
