Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
