i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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