Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
