i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
