There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My liver just had a heart attack.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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