No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
