I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Oh god it's open bar.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize