I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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