just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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