Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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