My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
