Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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