You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
