Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
