the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
