My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
