i jhust puked up my retainher.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
