Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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