i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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