hell yes lets make some ravioli
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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