@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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