Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
