I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
