If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just forgot I was standing up.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
