sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
