I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
