thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
