Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
