Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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