He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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