Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
