Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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